From caregiver to cared for at Hospice

When you hear or see of someone’s passing you will often see two dates listed with their name: date of birth and date of death. What those dates don’t tell you is all the important moments in between that make up their lives. Those are simply represented by a dash.

For our mom, Jean Uher, that dash was made up of family, faith and fellowship.

Born during the Depression to Czech immigrant parents, the youngest of nine children on a farm in Raleigh township, Jean learned the value of hard work and helping hands. “I will help as long as I am able,” she often said. And help she did.

Throughout her life she helped family members, farmers, friends and neighbours. She was active in her Blenheim church community, volunteering as cook, baker, gardener, CWL and choir member.

She also shared her singing talent within the local Czech community. There she met her husband, Joe Uher, and through their 60 years together, contributed to local Czech heritage in a variety of ways.

While she did not have many years of formal schooling, her mind was sharp. She remembered and regularly recited rhymes, poems, songs and stories from her childhood to us, her memory triggered by the mention of a mere word, like “daffodil” or “golden rod.”

These songs and poems were passed down to her kids – Steve, Stan, Dave, Carole, Darlene and Mike, their spouses, 17 grandchildren and 15 great­grandchildren. Mom had a gentle and inspiring way with children. She nurtured every family baby, calming them with her gentle humming and rocking technique, then guided them throughout their lives in faith, values, and appreciation of nature.

A product of her generation, Mom was very frugal. She could do a lot with very little! She found ways to make sure every celebration was special, always insisting on having a home-cooked birthday dinner and cake for us kids and creating what we affectionately call ‘care-packages’ that always came with canned pickles, pears, baked goods and a small, personalized gift.

With what little she had, Mom always chose to give back financially.

“Mom began donating to Hospice long before I started working here. She always felt Hospice was an important service in our community and often said ‘you never know someday I might need it!’ And need it she did. Or rather, we did,” shared Carole, CK Hospice Foundation team member.

Mom was a worker, helper and caregiver. So when she was diagnosed with cancer and she needed care, it was not easy for her to accept. She wanted to stay at home as long as possible, but when she made the request to go to Hospice, she expressed it as a desire to alleviate the family’s task of caring for her.

The time that we were able to spend with her over the next few days at Hospice was precious, as she sat in her bed and enjoyed day visits and sleepovers from her kids and spouses, calls and videos from her grandkids and great-grandkids.

As mom slipped into an unconscious state, she continued to feel the touch of our hands and hear our voices in song and prayer throughout the week.

She retained her wit even while she began to fade.

“I was reciting a poem to her when she was fairly unresponsive and when I finished the poem she whispered, ‘you missed a verse,'” shared Dave.

Her last hours were serene. The sun and warm wind gently filled her Hospice room when we opened wide the shutters and window to welcome the spring-like day – a day that she would have thoroughly enjoyed.

A small group of us gathered for her departure from Hospice. We held hands as we sang, spoke messages of gratitude and blessings to her. When funeral home personnel arrived, we moved down the hall together, singing as we stood witness to her body exiting the building while Hospice Nurse Jen read a few prayers.

These gentle personal touches meant so much to our family and provided some measure of peace as we set out in the world without our mother. As much as Hospice was there to care for our mom, it is those of us who are still here that really benefited.

“The care we received is beyond measure, beyond what any one person or family could afford. This year I rallied our large family to support families like ours through Hike for Hospice. Donating to Hospice is simply a good investment in celebrating a life,” said Dave.

Dekuji a na shledanou Mom.

-Shared in loving memory of Jean by the Uher family