As the Executive Director of the Chatham-Kent Hospice Foundation, I was very familiar with the care offered at Chatham-Kent Hospice, but I never imagined my family would be one of the families cared for at Hospice – until my dad became a resident last year.
My dad was very family-oriented and community minded. I was the firstborn, and I have two brothers and together, we gave our parents 7 grandchildren. Dad loved to follow the various activities of his kids and grandkids and was always willing to help neighbours, friends or family when needed.
When my parents moved to Chatham as a young family, they got involved in Kinsmen and Kinettes to get to know people. This also gave them the opportunity to get involved in the community. Later, when dad retired, he became a Hospice volunteer and picked up flowers from local florists who donated arrangements to Hospice.
Dad lived with Crohn’s disease for most of his adult life. His first major health issue came when, at the age of 70, he fought colon cancer. The cancer treatments worked but took a lot out of Dad. Several years later he had a couple falls resulting in a fractured shoulder, and then a fractured hip, both requiring surgery. Finally, in January of his 85th year, he was diagnosed with end stage liver disease. Unfortunately, this time there was no cure.
One of the milestones both my parents were looking forward to was their 60th wedding anniversary in October. Because Dad was getting more tired by the day, we decided to host an Open House in August for friends and family to come and celebrate with them. It was a wonderful day with many friends and family, including Dad’s brother who flew in from BC to surprise him. I am so glad we celebrated when we did because, by early September, you could see Dad’s decline more readily.
Earlier that summer, I had asked Amber, our Hospice Navigator, to meet with my parents and answer any questions they might have about Dad’s illness. Dad had always said, when the time came, he wanted to move to Hospice. When Amber visited my parents for the second time in September, she too could see the decline and she was very forthcoming with them that the time had come to move to Hospice.
As a family, we wanted to ensure Dad had the very best care possible at end of life, and we knew he would get that at Hospice. We also wanted to take the burden of care off Mom. She too was in her eighties and had been Dad’s full-time caregiver and it was taking its toll on her. It took the weekend for Dad to come to terms with moving to Hospice, but once he was settled in his room, an ice cream sundae made by the kitchen volunteer made for a very warm – and delicious – welcome.
Because Hospice offers such a comforting, peaceful and safe environment, it provided instant relief to my dad, my mom and the rest of my family. Dad liked to know what was going on at all times, so he would feel control of his situation as much as possible. Everyone was very patient and answered his questions with care and compassion. This lowered his anxiety and allowed him to rest better.
Knowing Dad was in good hands, Mom was able to go home and get a good night’s rest. The rest of us- my brothers, our spouses and the grandchildren – all took turns staying with Dad in the evenings. The staff always checked in with us and made sure we were comfortable. It also gave each of us the opportunity to spend quality time with Dad.
Now you might be thinking that, because I work at Hospice, our family got special treatment – and we did – but not because I work there, but because every family at Hospice is special. The staff and volunteers make a point of getting to know each family and help them make the most of their time at Hospice. For our family, I can think of many small and big touches that made such a difference:
- the kitchen volunteers learned that Dad liked red grapes and Rice Krispies for breakfast and made sure they had these on hand for him
- the reception volunteers kindly let people know that Dad wasn’t up for company when he became too tired to visit with friends
- and for their actual 60th Wedding Anniversary, the staff presented them with a cake and refreshments that our family enjoyed in the Great Room.
When Dad died, it was very peaceful but having Hospice staff with us gave us so much comfort. I can’t imagine how much harder it would have been if we had been at home.
Hospice exists in Chatham-Kent because of our caring and generous community. Thank you to everyone who has supported and continues to support local families like mine.
– Shared by Jodi Maroney and the Brady family in memory of Ted